Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal Sabu Put on No-Fly List

The homicidal, suicidal, genocidal Sabu was put on a no-fly list while attempting to catch a flight from Minneapolis to Newark, N.J for an event earlier this week, according to Big Heart Wrestling promoter Davin St. George.

“Unfortunately, Sabu was detained at Minneapolis airport and put on a permanent no fly-list while trying to travel to New Jersey to participate in our first ever ‘Garden State Barbed Wire Tables Match’ for the Big Heart Heavyweight title,” said St. George via Facebook. “No replacement has been found and no refunds will be issued.”

A spokesperson for the TSA at the Minneapolis — Saint Paul International Airport explained the decision to keep Sabu grounded.

“Earlier in the week a very agitated man, who only identified himself as Sabu, attempted to pass through a standard security checkpoint. We felt the safest course of action was to prevent this man from boarding any flights,” said officer Deborah Easton. “Multiple travelers reported being concerned by the man’s appearance. He was shirtless, covered in scars, and was only wearing neon green MC Hammer pants and a traditional keffiyeh.”

According to officials, Sabu’s appearance was not the only reason for being added to the no-fly list.

“The man had two carry on bags which both contained items that gave us cause for alarm.  When his large carry on went through the scanner, we noticed it was filled with barbed wire and a huge tube of superglue,” said TSA agent Paul Moore. “His smaller carry on was just a backpack full of thumbtacks;  he also had a 9-inch metal spike hidden inside his boot. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Reports indicate that Sabu was uncooperative when questioned by TSA agents, limiting his responses to one word answers and continually pointing one finger towards the sky.

“When we ran his name through our security database, we found that his aliases include Homicidal, Suicidal, and Genocidal,” continued Moore, “If those aren’t red flags, I don’t know what are. We had no choice but to ground him.”

A Gofundme account has been created in order to help Sabu raise money to rent a car and drive to New Jersey.